Mario's Flaming Frenzy
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: A hot summer day turns into another chaotic brawl-out for the residents of Smashville.


It was another hot summer day in Smashville. Mario had not one, but two ice cream cones resting in his hands.

"Hey Mario, nice of you to stop by and grant a swell guy like myself an icy cream!" said Fox happily as he darted a hand over to one of the cones.

Mario held back the frozen treat and shot the fox boy a deadly glare. "This is not for you!"

Luigi walked over and took one of the cones. "Yeah, it's for a true brother! Am I right, bro?" He took a lick.

Mario's nostrils flared and he grabbed Luigi's stupid young tongue and elbowed it into oblivion. "You thought wrong, knave!" he growled.

Luigi cradled his dead tongue and wept for the fallen comrade.

Fox scratched his chin. "Gee, Mario. You sure are antsy about those cones. The recipient must be quite the special smasher."

Pikachu hopped up and smiled at Mario. Mario slammed his foot down and made a Pika-pancake.

"Quite a violent reaction, but it still doesn't explain much…" mumbled Fox.

Falco walked up to Fox and Mario and asked what was going on with Luigi's broken tongue.

"He's a fathead!" screamed Mario. He then shoved the two cones into his nostrils and pulled out his cape. He flew off into the sun and launched fireballs at all of the other smashers' houses.

"Sweet buns!" cried Captain Falcon. He looked up at the enraged plumber. "Mario, what in the world are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing Cap'n Good-Tush? I'm havin' a good time with two ice creams! Get a life!" Mario tossed one more fireball at the bounty hunter. He dodged it with the sickest backflip ever.

"This does not bode well…" Falcon sighed. He saw Fox and Falco approach. "What's gotten into him?"

Fox scoffed. "It seems like we got off on the wrong foot and ever since then he's been tearing up the neighbourhood."

"And he might have burnt my bread," added Falco.

"Nobody cares about your bread, Falco…"

"I care."

"Yo! Dis madness from that loony loopa is threatenin' my relax-acation!" barked Dedede.

"And look at what he did to my begonias!" cried Mewtwo as he pointed to his flaming flower bed.

"The nerve of some people!" dazzled Marth as he flicked his gorgeous hair back and posed beautifly like an elegant human rose.

"All dis over ice cream, huh?" said Falco.

"How does we stop dis here freak?" wailed Dedede.

"I say we take some metal straight to the lower end of his skull," suggested Kirby from a dark alleyway. He was polishing his Steel Diver with an angsty-looking rag. "It'll only take one quick bop and I'm not shy on volunteering."

"What we need is a trap. Such that we can procure the ice cream and quell this horrific madness," said DK.

And so, the remaining smashers (everyone, save Yoshi, he died in the worst way possible due to Mario's bizarre tantrum) set up a perimeter of pitfall traps around a twenty-meter area. Sonic whipped up his world-famous Chili Dog Pasta and placed it in the centre.

Falcon kept a careful eye out for the flying fortress of fuming flames that was Mario. He suddenly spotted a red figure slowly approaching from the east. He lowered his spyglass and sighed with deep passion for justice. "It's time…"

Fox dashed into the bunker where everyone else was. "Falcon has sight of the Sky Demon! Prepare the barrier!"

Fox, Falco, and Wolf summoned their Landmasters. Kirby pulled out all of his defensive weaponry. Dedede readied his Jet Hammer. Marth and his lovelies drew their blades. Mewtwo put on his Nikes. Peach pulled out a turnip. Luigi harnessed the mystic arts using his splinted tongue. Yoshi continued to be deceased. Snake readied his Nikita. DK charged up his Giant Punch. Dark Pit existed for some reason.

"Ooooooooooh!" droned Mario as he zoned in on the pasta. "OOOOOOOOOOOH!" Mario dove down at the speed of sound and collided with the earth. The power of his ice cream-infused nose was strong enough to shatter reality itself. The titan rose from the remnants of oblivion and sucked up each individual noodle like a savage beast of tumultuous malevolence.

"We've got him now!" cried Falcon. "Attack!"

Everyone attacked at full force. They could not let this madman get away. Mario took in all of the blaster fire, KO Punching, turnip tossing, Flare Blitzing, tongue magicking, Needle Storming, Great Aethering, PK Firing, and Wario Wafting.

"You are so finished, you monster!" roared Captain Falcon as he leapt skyward and charged his fist full of flaming power and beefy smash goodness.

Mario looked up at Falcon and snarled. He swung his cape around and batted away his foes. He then jumped up super high, high up in the sky. Because there was no other power-up like dancing.

Falcon saw the maniac quickly approaching and braced himself for impact. He prepared to nail the fiery fatman between the eyes with his ultimate finisher.

"Watashi wa shinen! SHINENZUUUUUU!" screamed Mario.

"FALCON… PAWCH!" Falcon bellowed as he slammed his phoenix-brazened gauntlet into the crimson nightmare's nose, knocking the ice cream cones out and completely obliterating the plumber.

The ice cream cones landed on the ground and Lucario ran over to them and picked them up. "I got 'em, lads!" he cried.

"Good job, Luke!" said Ganondorf because he's really supportive.

"We have demolished this demon!" Falcon stated with honour.

"But who were these cones for and why did they seem to drive Mario insane?" wondered Luigi.

"Only one way to find out!" said Lucario. He shoved the cones up his own nose.

Everyone gasped. Lucario then underwent a fearsome transformation. He turned into Mega-Lucario XYZ & Knuckles ft. Dante from _Devil May Cry_. "MAX AURA!" he shouted as he proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Mewtwo.

"This explains nothing…" sighed DK.

"THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!" howled Lucario.

 **THE END**

 **why?**


End file.
